Bye bye brother

Last Thursday my family woke at 6 am to say goodbye to my older brother Sam. He's a qualified ski and snowboarding instructor and got himself a job in Sun Peaks, Canada. I am very proud and delighted for him and I'm glad that he get's to return to the place where he studied for his qualifications. Honestly, Sam has always been the restless type but he has finally found a way to do what he loves and it makes him truly happy. He'll be away for just over 6 months, which is three months longer than the last time he was there.



Unfortunately his first day didn't bring much in the way of comforting news. In an email to my Mum, he explained that his accommodation is appalling (even by his standards) and he's considering trying to find somewhere new. And to unsettle my parents further, he posted on Facebook in the early morning hours 'I miss home'. I have to say, my heart broke a little. I made no attempt to hide my excitement about his leaving. Our car would be solely mine and I wouldn't have anyone to argue with. But in light of his situation, I feel bad. I want him to have a great time and I don't like the idea that he is sad and alone on the other side of the world. Of course, give it a week and he will be as happy as can be, but for now, I worry.



I'm worried because, personally, I wouldn't be able to do what he is doing. Travelling is something that I desperately want to do after university but because I am such an anxious freak, if I were to arrive somewhere all by myself and something wasn't right I think I would panic. I know I would panic. I would likely call my mum in tears and beg her to 'fix it'. Hopefully my travels will kick out that overly dependent side of me. Still, the excitement to spend sometime on my own is overwhelming and so petrifying that I can't explain it. But like I said, Sam will be fine. He's always fine.