Princesses

I've never thought of myself as the princess loving type. But with a little bit of reflection and a marathon of my old favourite films, it has become clear that I am. 

With the end of the festival, I can sometimes find myself unwilling to leave my bed. And sometimes I'm just glad I can use the Fringe as an excuse for doing so! Anyway, during September, I enjoy TV binging and movie marathons. This year, I decided to dive into my past a little and watch some of the films I idolised as a child. There were three main films on my list to watch: Anastasia, The Little Mermaid and The Princess Diaries. Straight away you can tell that my favourite movies growing up all had the same particular theme - royalty! Although it was never something I noticed at the time, princesses dominated my upbringing through films, television and Barbie dolls. Here is what I have learnt from re-watching these films just before I turn 20 and leave my teenage years behind.

Anastasia

This film has always been one of my favourites that I have consistently come back to. And for anyone else who studies film, you know how difficult it is to identify a favourite film! Anastasia was a story that captivated me from a young age. Everything, from the cute puppy, Pooka, to the beautiful dresses of the 1920s, kept me entertained and engaged as a girl. I would try to imitate scenes in my bedroom, dress like Anya as she danced in her yellow gown and sing the songs as loud as my voice would let me. Watching the film as an adult is no different. I regress to my younger self when Once Upon a December begins to play, and it's a state I don't snap out of until the credits roll. However, the film almost seems scarier now. Maybe it's due to my better understanding of the world, relationships and my knowledge of what actually happened to the Romanov family, but for some reason, the film hit deeper than it's ever done before. I felt real pain for Anya and her Grandmother when they were separated and sorrow as the nearly weren't reunited. I felt despair when Anya danced in the Grand Hall with only her faint memories to guide her. I felt anxious when Dimitri swings on the rope to save Anya from drowning. I felt anger when Rasputin wouldn't leave them alone. Every emotion was much stronger than it used to be and it felt like I was unable to help the characters, whom for so long as a child I had considered my friends. 

The love story in Anastasia was always different to the ones you would see in Disney movies. Anya and Dimitri are equals who fall in love over time (not a long period of time, but longer than most Disney romances). They started as strangers, grew to become friends and eventually Dimitri suddenly fell in love with his stubborn accomplice. I've never been one to wish for a relationship that emulates one I've seen on screen, but there was something about the match that just felt perfect. Although, having said that, I do enjoy a little more romance than a single dance on the deck of a boat. But I suppose beggars can't be choosers! Finally, as I grow older, I continue to be fascinated by the way that Anya conducts herself. She is a strong, wilful and hopeful character who values family above all else. Certainly traits to admire as I move into the next stage of my life. I could write for days about the many aspects of this film that I adore and how fascinated I am with the history behind the story and the version too grisly for film. But sometimes, when a film is thoroughly dissected and analysed it can ruin the many years of love. I suppose it's easier to touch only the surface and enjoy the film for what it is.

The Little Mermaid

This must be on every girls list of favourite films from their childhood. The Little Mermaid came out before I was born so I'm not entirely sure what age I was when I first saw it but it's stuck since then, that's for sure! Ariel was my spirit animal. She was everything I wanted to be, young, beautiful, talented, kind and wonderful. Just wonderful! Ariel finds a prince who loves her, even when slightly derailed by Ursula. And the way she loves Eric was always something I had dreamed for myself. I grew up searching for that 'prince' who I would sacrifice everything to be with! Now, a little older, I realise that relationships are about compromise not sacrifice and that my role model, Ariel, didn't exactly prepare me for a healthy love life!

The movie was always an overwhelming show of determination. To me, Ariel was the shining light amongst the other Disney princesses because she was fiery and passionate about living the life she wanted to live. I never realised the impact re-watching this film would have on me. I'm in my last year of university and I'll graduate next summer. This is petrifying. I have ideas of how I would like to live my life but I suppose I'm still too scared to make the positive moves towards it. Ariel didn't care. She went for what she wanted and even though it was hard and she had to sacrifice some of the things she loved, she got there in the end. This was strangely inspirational to me. Yes, I sometimes get inspiration from animated mermaids, deal with it. 

This film was always one I related to on a bizarre level. Although I've never felt restricted by my parents to any extremes, I think it's a feeling that every child has. Realising that your life is your own and that you don't need to do everything your parents want you to do can be liberating. Parents obviously want the best for their children but sometimes the lines are blurred and it can feel like they are trying to live through you. Pushing you towards the decisions that they would make rather than helping you towards your own decision. I love my parents and have a great relationship with them now, but every now and again, I do feel a little lost and like my parents only see one direction for me. The Little Mermaid will probably always make me nostalgic for the days when big decisions were only made in movies but it's helped me see that moving towards what you want is important for your own personal well being.

Ariel would have driven herself insane if she had stayed underwater for her entire life.

The Princess Diaries


This film came out a little later in my life. Already seven, going on eight, I was able to understand more of the themes presented. This film, growing up, was a symbol of change. A pillar of hope that my life could change just as easily as Mia's life did. This obviously led to many years of me believing I was a princess and unpopular because my time simply hadn't come yet. I moulded many of my attributes around Mia's. I tried to be kind and humble, I tried to work hard and be honest. I learnt to appreciate myself a little more and grew up ambitious and courageous (at times). Many of these things, I believe I've upheld to the best of my ability but re-watching the film has instilled in me, yet again, the importance of being true and comfortable with yourself. It's interesting to look back and see how important being popular is in high school. Whether you admit it or not, it was important. But it's not. In the long term scale of things, who you know and who knows you in high school doesn't matter. It's so easy to get caught up in the social swing of things but why do so many consider it to be important. Having friends is vital in school and very important in helping develop into an adult, but having the most friends is total bullshit. If I could go back and tell myself anything, I would say 'find yourself a few good friends and hold on tight, they are all you need'.

I think I loved this film so much growing up because it was about an average girl who's entire world changed overnight. That was exciting to me. And even at the young age I was when this film was released, I was already fully immersed in imaginary games with my toys. So there is no surprise that the idea of living a different life was exciting. Now I watch The Princess Diaries and cringe a little. It's all far too reminiscent of first kisses and first betrayals. It makes me think back on my embarrassing high school memories and how many things I would change if I could. But I can't and that's what's funny about it all now. Everything that was the cause of pain, stress and upset, is in the distant past and seems like a joke to me now. Maybe The Princess Diaries taught me more about reflection than I thought. Maybe the film reminds older viewers to look back at their adolescent years with a smile, because they were really funny.
So there we go, three films that I once loved, still love and will continue to love. Even if they are all about princesses.